My first day

Time: 0700

I awake to the sound of my computer playing “Dallas Green – Hello I’m In Delaware”. Why? Because for the fourth day in a row, I’ve forgot to buy an alarm clock since mine is still sitting on my night table in Winnipeg. Fat lot of good it’s doing me there. I am actually able to roll myself out of bed on the first try and become mobile. I shower and find myself ready to go less than 20 minutes later. We’re off to a good start.

Time: 0720

I have my briefcase prepared with all of the documents I forgot to bring to the company barbecue yesterday like my employment contract and non-compete agreement. You know, nothing important. I grab my Zune and head out to my car.

I enter my car, plug in the Zune, turn on the car and — why is my Zune dead? Fuck, it wasn’t plugged in properly last night. I try and find something on the radio, but there’s nothing.  Fantastic.  This going to be a great day.

I drive to 4th Street praying to God that it’s not completely blocked off like it was yesterday. It isn’t. Success! I head on to Deerfoot and begin my 170 block (approximately 17 km.) drive to work. Being that there’s construction all along Deerfoot thanks to the repaving, and all the construction at Elbow and Glenmore, I estimate that it should take me about an hour to get to work, which will give me just enough time to prepare and be ready for when Alex meets me at the front doors.

Time: 0736

It takes me sixteen minutes to get from my house (4th Street and 80th Avenue NE) to the first site (64th Avenue and 30th Avenue SW). I have just under an hour to kill, and I’m already starting to get tired. Where can I get coffee?

I drive around and happen to find a Coffee Time Drive-Thru a few blocks away. I order my liquid caffeine and a chocolate donut to compliment it. I inhale the donut, absorb the coffee through osmosis, and drive back to the site and wait for 45 minutes until Alex shows up.

<just pretend a lot of technical stuff happens here>

Time: 1300

We go for lunch to the Pita Pit. I’m about ready to fall asleep right on the food but manage to stabilize myself with the chair and the table leg.

<just pretend a lot more technical stuff happens here>

Time: 1700

It’s time to leave. It takes me nearly 30 minutes to go from Crowchild and the Barracks to Glenmore and Elbow (approximately 1km). It then takes me 12 minutes to go from Glenmore and Elbow, up Deerfoot, and back home (approximately the other I don’t know how many km… 16, right?). God bless city driving. No where else can you travel 16 times the distance in half the time. Unless you’re a space shuttle pilot.

Time: 1742

I make it home and realize that this will be some of the easiest work I’ve ever done. The guys I work with are awesome, and they seem to know what they’re doing, which is a relief seeing as how I’m a narcissist and a perfectionist when it comes to computer work. Right.

<insert time wasting here>

Time: 22:30

Dave wakes up from his nap and tells me about his trip to Venezuela. While he recounts the story of his girlfriend yelling at a bathroom attendant for demanding a tip, I manage to break my upstairs neighbour’s (a.k.a. the guy who owns the place) server.


I attempt to fix it.

Oh fuck, now no one can login, not even me. Now I can’t even fix the problem.

Cue beads of sweat the size of cantaloupes collecting on my forehead.

I find a hidden fix from searching Google. Please God, please work.

I apply the fix remotely.

I can login again! HAHAHAHA TAKE THAT YOU STUPID SERVER!!! Justin – 1; Server – 0.

Time: 2347

This day has been interesting enough that I don’t need to tempt fate anymore than I already have. It’s bed time.

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