Many of you reading this blog may be wondering where I’ve disappeared to as of late. You come to this site hoping to laugh at my jokes and cry at my misfortunes (or perhaps laugh at them too) and sadly, I’ve delivered neither. Something in my life happened that has prevented me, mentally, from wanting to open up myself to anyone – something I wish upon no one.
Last Sunday, one of my best friends in the whole world, Amanda Frizzley, was taken from this world. One minute she was there, the next she was gone. If I tried to express in words how I feel about the whole situation, I’d fail. Between feeling anger, regret, and even helplessness (sometimes all three at once), this past week has been a blur, one which I will not soon forget.
Read the rest of this entry »
I walk into Sunridge Nissan with my chastity belt at the ready, anxious to test drive a Sentra. A strapping young lad named Kelvin finds me wandering around the showroom and asks me if there’s anything he can help me with today. Impressed by his full smile, I tell him that I’m in the market for a Sentra 2.5 SE-R Spec V, however since the Spec V is a manual transmission only, I’d like to take the regular 2.5 out for a test drive so that I could get the feel for the engine.
As he starts telling me “We actually don’t have any 2.5′s in stock at the moment–” Are you fucking kidding me? FUCK YOU EARTHQUAKE!!! “—but we’re getting one in later this week.” Oh. OK, continue. “What we can do is have you take one of the 2.0′s out for a test drive, get a feel for the interior, and when the 2.5 comes in, you can get an idea what the engine is like. How does that sound?” “Well Kelvin, it sounds fucking fantastic. Let’s go.”
Read the rest of this entry »
I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to my adoring fan out there for going so long without an update. It’s weird, but I’m pretty sure that for the first time in my whole life, I’ve actually had enough of a life outisde of the computer that I just haven’t been online enough to post anything. I thought that today, being God’s day of rest, I take a day out of my hectic schedule and update all 3 of you with what’s going on in my life.
INT. BLACK
PICTURES OF A BEATEN NEXXAI ARE THROWN ON TO A TABLE ONE AT A TIME
CREDITS SLOWLY FADE IN AS NARRATOR BEGINS
We last left our hero as he had successfully navigated his first day as a Versalt employee. At the cost of great personal injury, both to himself and others, he managed to finish the day still breathing and lived to fight another day.
Read the rest of this entry »
